Go and Make It Right
Educating Children for Eternity
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)
My three-year-old granddaughter’s scream is shrill and disturbing—like the proverbial fingernails dragging down a chalkboard. The cause of her displeasure in most cases is her four-year-old sister who does not react at all to the screaming, especially if she caused it.
Evie’s frustration with Addie typically erupts without warning. Addie starts singing the same song Evie is singing, Addie’s foot touches Evie’s car seat, Addie is touching Evie’s stuffed animal—all infractions may cause Evie’s extremely loud and disturbing displeasure.
Just a few years ago, I would have made Addie stop aggravating her sister and say, “I’m sorry.” I would have told Evie to say she accepted Addie’s apology. That was the extent of what “go and make it right” looked like in my world. Being appropriately chagrined would be enough.
At Providence School of Tifton, we have an assembly saying: “Go and make it right.” What does that really mean? In a classical Christian school, atonement is everything. We teach that Christ’s death on the cross and his resurrection redeems us from our sins; we want our students to recognize when they are in the wrong and say “I’m sorry” not only to the person wronged but also to God. Many times, this will be the end of the disciplinary matter if the student recognizes his sin, apologizes to the one the sin was toward, apologizes to God, and talks with the teacher about how God is willing to forgive us of our sin, telling us to go and sin no more.
Being Moral Isn’t Enough
I cannot count how many times I grew frustrated when handling high school discipline when I was a public-school assistant principal, and my frustration stemmed from the fact that the student (and often the parent) would not admit the student did anything wrong. Or the parent would say, "I just cannot make him do anything at home,” as if that justified the student’s disobedience. Right and wrong was relative in the eyes of many students and parents.
I wanted students who broke a rule or harmed someone else with words or actions to be repentant. I wanted students to at least say “I’m sorry” to the person(s) who were wronged. While I could ask a student to apologize, I had to stop short of explaining to the student why it was important to do so, why it was more than being morally right why it was of spiritual importance.
In my seven years as an AP, one family did request that their child (a male) be allowed to apologize to the student (a female) whom he had offended by his actions. That family’s request was for the right reasons. The father wanted his son to make it right. The son was repentant. Because of the nature of the event, I and another assistant principal decided that we would not require the young lady to be in the same room with the other student which meant he could not apologize. Part of the disciplinary component was that this male student also could not interact with the female student on campus. This incident has stayed with me ever since, and I have regretted not allowing a genuine apology to occur face-to-face between the two students under the guidance of the adults and their families. The student in the wrong needed a chance to make it right, and he was denied that opportunity.
The Importance of Seeking Forgiveness
What does “go and make it right” look like at my classical Christian school now?
When a student sins against God and/or another person, the teacher or an administrator has a serious conversation with the student about sin and what it can do to the person wronged as well as the one doing the wrong.
Me: “Addie, I know you love your sister. But you have taken her toy away from her. It does not belong to you, and you did not ask her if you could play with it. Taking it without asking is wrong. When we do something wrong, what does God say that is?”
Addie: *shrug*
Me: “Addie, your sister is crying. You hurt her feelings because you took away her toy. Does this make God happy?”
Addie: *headshake, side-to-side*
Me: “When we do something wrong, what does God call it?”
Addie: *whisper* “Sin”
Me: “That’s right. Does it make God happy when we sin?”
Addie: “No ma’am.”
Me: “What does God want you to do when you sin?”
Addie: “Say I’m sorry to Evie.”
Me: “Who else should you tell that you are sorry for sinning?”
Addie: “Jesus.”
Me: “That’s right. Let’s pray to God and ask for his forgiveness first. Then we can talk to Evie and ask her to forgive you.”
A guided prayer would then follow this conversation with Addie repeating a prayer of repentance after me. After the prayer, I would also tell Addie that when we ask God to forgive us for our sins, he does, and he does not remember the sin anymore. Then she would go and make it right with her sister.
Children, even at a young age, do recognize the difference between right and wrong and that doing wrong hurts. They should be guided by their parents and those acting in loco parentis when they wrong someone else or are wronged themselves. The small act of seeking forgiveness from one you have wronged is the most important lesson we can teach our children. Seeking repentance and accepting Christ’s atonement for our sins makes the difference for our eternity.